Peacemaking

Can I just start off by saying that I don't blog lightly? I have many ideas that are ruminating in my brain at all times. There are days I don't blog, merely because I can't pick just one topic. I'm like a popcorn popper with all these little kernels of thoughts germinating and then all of a sudden Pop! one of them is just blown out of my head onto my computer screen. Right now, I have at least 5 topics I want to write about, but it has to be one at a time. Also, if you can't tell, writing is my way of really looking at what I think and why I think it. So, it's somewhat of a discovery process to me. Anyway....

Today our pastor presented a sermon on how to deal with conflict. The first thing that caught my attention was the statement, " Being a peacemaker doesn't mean you sit around and do nothing." I totally agree with this idea. I think alot of us, myself included have at times been confused about what peace means. Peace doesn't mean the absence of external conflict. Being a peacemaker doesn't mean you avoid conflict. Phrases like "keeping the peace" help perpetuate that confusion, especially as that phrase is usually defined as being non-confrontational, letting something wrong go unremarked or even trying to keep from offending someone. Being passive about a situation that you believe is wrong or harmful doesn't make you a peacemaker. An example was used of a husband and wife arguing over how the husband's mother was speaking to and treating the wife. The wife asks her husband to confront his mother, but he refuses. He uses excuses like the wife is being oversensitive, that she should just let it go, that he doesn't want to start a war or offend his mother. Or we can use the example of one parent who allows their child free rein in the house which causes conflict between both parents over measures of discipline. Both of these examples can be a time when action is needed, not inaction to maintain peace. I believe that sometimes, doing nothing can be the right thing. But there are other times, when we have to stand up and speak out to keep the peace. Our pastor related it to setting boundaries and borders for yourself and others. If there is someone in your life who constantly shows you disrespect, or criticizes you, or doesn't show you the consideration he/she would ask from you, then that could be the time when you stand up and say, "listen, if you can't respect me or the rules I've set for my house, then I will have to limit the time I spend with you."

Ignoring something, avoiding conflict or just being a doormat does not make you a peacemaker. I believe in all situations where we address these issues we have to treat and speak to others with respect and even kindness. Someone's bad behavior does not excuse us getting sarcastic or hurtful. "A peacemaker recognizes issues and tries to deal with it before it gets ugly" Sometimes we have to take action when a problem is small to avoid it becoming huge.

I think this especially is a difficult concept to those who call themselves Christians. We've been taught scriptures like turn the other cheek. Although according to my pastor, this has been taken out of context, and was originally meant to be an instruction to those who are being persecuted. Not necessarily for those whose boundaries are crossed on a daily basis. We have also heard the verse, "Love covers a multitude of sins" Well, yes it does, but there are times when sin or evil has to be confronted. The Bible says that whatever is hidden will be exposed or brought to light. Or how about the Beatitude that states,"blessed are the peacemakers, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven"? Well, in direct contrast to that is the scripture, "The kingdom of Heaven suffers violence and the violent take it by force." I would think those two are directly opposite. That is why we have to be careful to keep things in context. We can see this in our world today. Sometimes war is necessary to maintain peace. Which seems absolutely absurd, but it can be true. (I"m not making any political statements, ok?.) What if our Founding Fathers had decided being peacemakers meant accepting British rule no matter that they were being taxed and ruled without representation. What if our country had decided that being a peace keeping country meant that we chose to ignore the sinking of the Lusitania or the bombing of Pearl Harbor? I'll tell you one thing, none of us would be here today. We can't avoid conflict forever, there always comes a time that it must be addressed. That doesn't mean that I believe any of us have a right to impose or force our own beliefs or way of life on others. I think alot of Christians can be pushovers, because we believe that we have to be peacemakers and are confused as to what that means exactly. And I think alot of people who aren't Christians have that view of us as well. You know Jesus was a peacemaker, but He also caused conflict. What about the time that he got angry and destroyed the marketplace inside the temple. What about the statement He made that in order to follow Him, we must hate our fathers and mothers (again, definitely a verse that must remain in context) what about the book of Revelations which describes Him as a warrior? Sometimes a war can be as small as taking a stand among your own family for something you believe is right. Sometimes it means confronting a friend who is addicted to drugs or alcohol, sometimes it means your kid is going to hate you for disciplining them and enforcing rules. But these things ultimately help us keep peace in the long term.

Just a long thought. I don't know if it makes sense or if I got to rambling to much. Let me know what you think, because I'm still ruminating on the idea.