To one I care about,
This little letter is to officially inform you that I am finished. I am finished trying to reach out to you in an effort to maintain and further develop our relationship. I don’t know if you don’t really care or if you just aren’t aware that I have made many efforts, but you have proven many times over that it is effort wasted. We have known each other for many years, and I have no doubt that no matter what happens in the future you will continue to be a part of my life and someone I will still care about, but if we are to continue to have any kind of relationship it will be up to you.
I don’t say this to you in malice. In fact I do care about you and would love to continue being your friend. I’ve just found it upsets me too much. Over the years I have called you, I have tried to make plans with you, to spend time with you. And although we have spent time together it has only been at your convenience. So many times you have rushed off or canceled on me when something better came up. Not to mention that when we do talk or spend time together it always all about you. Except when you decide to tell me how to live my life, what choices to make and to correct me when you think I’m wrong. This angers me because you have not earned that right. You have not invested the time into our relationship, the sympathetic ear, the shoulder to cry on, or the heart that shares both the joy and the pain to have an opinion on my life. I also find it ironic that even though we spend alot of time talking about your life, it is rarely the stuff that really matters. You have no problem sharing the surface-y stuff, but it is a rare occurrence when you share your heart. Maybe you don’t trust me enough or maybe it is just difficult for you to share your heart with anyone. Whatever the case, I’ve always been willing to be there for you.
Another reason I find it hard to maintain the effort to be your friend? I am jealous of you. There, I said it and it no fault of yours and all my own weakness. You are living your life and doing and seeing things that I wish I could do and see. That I am not doing and seeing those things is due to choices I made for my life that I would make again if I could, but that does not make it any easier for me not to be jealous of you. I want to have my cake and eat it too : )
All that to say, I care about you, but I just can’t do this anymore. The lack of value you give our relationship really hurts me. And every time I try to call or make plans with you it is further reinforced and reminds me that you are not in a place in your life right now where you value our relationship the same as I do. I know that this is not intentional on your part, but every instance further wounds and upsets me and I am not capable of dealing with it anymore. So please, don’t get upset (if you even notice, I’ve quit trying). If you realize in the future that our relationship means something to you and you want to re-establish it then I am willing. But for now....
Goodbye.
Sincerely,
Me
