A Lesson in Progress

Forgiveness is:

A long-term commitment. Something you sometimes have to practice awhile before you feel it or begin to mean it.

A discipline. Because it is a long-term commitment we must choose to forgive even when we don't want to, don't feel it or don't know how. But we keep at it until we get it right, until we are able to release the pain, hurt, anger or offense.

Has nothing to do with the offender and everything to do with you, the offended. We don't offer or practice forgiveness because someone deserves it. We offer forgiveness because we deserve it. It benefits us. We deserve to move on with our lives, to not be tied to someone or something by negative feelings of hurt and pain. Forgiveness doesn't necessarily change the person or circumstance that hurt you, but it does change you... for the better.

Freedom. It releases us from the negative and makes room for joy to enter.

The best gift you can give yourself. Not only forgiveness of others, but also of ourselves. Sometimes the hardest person to forgive is yourself. But remember, God does not with hold His forgiveness from you but offers you grace. So allow yourself to accept it and offer that same kindness to others and to yourself.

Grace

Grace is a funny thing.  It comes at the most unexpected times and when you least deserve it.

I've heard about grace all my life. I've read about it, heard about it, studied it etc.  And I thought I understood it. But that was all head knowledge. In the last several months I have come face to face with grace and actually experienced it on a deep and personal level. And that experience has enriched and even changed what I thought I knew about grace. If I were a little girl dressed in my dancing dress I would be spinning and twirling in joy right now.

My experience with grace began during the most recent transition phase in my life. Many months ago I wrote about laying it all down in obedience to God. I was scared about the future. I felt like God was calling me into the unknown. Since that time I have pretty much changed everything about my life. And it was a difficult, awkward scary time. I walked forward one step at a time not knowing what the next step was or when it would come. Like Abraham I left behind all I knew for a journey with no known destination. The journey has been one small measured footstep at a time. God's voice saying, "Step here." And then silence and waiting. Then another, "Step here." It has challenged me to lean on God in a new way listening for His voice for everything! Not just the big things.

But through this crazy journey grace met me at each place. And here is what I have learned.

Grace meets weakness with strength. I couldn't find within my self the strength or even discipline to make the decisions I needed to make. Grace picked me up and carried me through.

Grace makes the rough path smooth. When I thought I would fall apart or that something was just too difficult grace went before me and prepared the way.

Grace means you are never alone. It provides people who will be your pillars when you need them. Supporting, encouraging and lifting you up. I've been so blessed to have people who love me, who listen and who have drawn me into their circle of friendship. I have also found kindness in unexpected places and from unexpected sources.

Grace is a healing salve. Inevitably when going through transition phases there are going to be people who get offended by your choices, who may not understand or agree with you or who may even personally attack you. Grace covers that hurt and takes the sting out of  the loss of those relationships and the loss of mutual respect. I tend to trust everyone until proven otherwise and have rarely met a person I didn't like. I have to remind my self that not everyone else feels the same. Because of grace I am able to release any hurt or anger caused by others judgement of me and forgive. We all need grace. And I have been given so much that I have no right to with hold it from others.

Grace leaves little love notes to be discovered everywhere. A cool spring day walking through the daffodils, the fresh breath of a spring breeze bringing life, time spent with a friend, butterflies appearing everywhere I go, a new job that I love, answered prayers. These are all little blessings from God reminding me how much I am loved no matter how many times I stumble during the journey.

Grace takes what appears to be dead and resurrects it. The Breath of Life makes impossible things possible.

My personal experience with grace has transformed me. I am a different person. Metamorphosized. I went from trying to survive each day to loving life. I feel full of so much joy that I can't contain it. I am full of hope. I am confident that I am loved. The real transformation is not so much on the outside or in my circumstance but on the inside. Grace takes ugliness and turns it into beauty. Because of my experience I have beauty where I should have had ashes. I am so grateful and I will never be the same.