Letters to God #17

Do You remember? Do You remember how loneliness used to cling to me like a needy child? I was surrounded by love growing up and yet at times I would find myself experiencing physical pains of loneliness even as I was with my friends and family. I never understood how that was possible. Why would I have any reason to feel alone, to feel invisible to feel my heart hurt? But I did and I just accepted this as normal, something I would carry with me forever.

Then the other day as I was sitting on the sofa You asked me, "Do you remember? Do you remember when you used to feel those pangs of loneliness? When was the last time you felt lonely?" And I couldn't remember.

Somehow in the midst of chaos, change and upheaval You healed my heart. I didn't even ask but You knew. Thinking about it I realized that the reason I no longer feel lonely is because I am finally whole. You have made me complete. It has nothing to do with circumstances or people but everything to do with You. That loneliness I felt, that hole in my heart where love fell through was merely Your way of drawing me closer to You. It was Your gentle reminder that You are what I need. When I found You I found everything and there was no more room for loneliness. I am full of You and I can't even remember being empty.