Single, Not Alone

For some reason we have been conditioned to think that if someone is single that obviously it is not because they want to be. This is why, since my divorce the most pertinent and burning question I am asked is, "Are you seeing anyone?" Or its' cousin, "Have you been dating?" or any of the many variations of these questions that imply that being single is a condition I should remedy immediately. I will be honest, while I was married, one of the things I considered when making the decision to end things was the idea of having to be single again. And I almost thought it might be preferable to remain miserable in an unhealthy relationhip than to find myself out in the world at an age when most of my age group is married and having children, trying to wade my way through the considerably shrunken dating pool. It was an intimidating consideration, especially since I hadn't ever really participated in the dating world to begin with. My one serious relationship led directly to marriage.

But here is what I have found. Being single is not a condition or a disease. I am very happily single. Would I like to get married again? Yes. Do I need to get married again? No. There are a few things I miss about being in a relationship, but for the most part I am more than content. I am happier and more fulfilled than I can ever remember being. I am more loved now than ever. I don't secretly long to be with someone or feel like I'm missing out.

The truth is when I lost my life as I knew it, I found God as I had never known Him. When I let go of chasing a fairy tale I found my real Love story. I feel like Buddy in the movie Elf and I want to proclaim at the top of my lungs, "I"m in love, I'm in love and I don't care who knows it!" I have found my Hero and He has made me whole. I'm not missing anything, because He provides it all. He IS all, Father, Husband, Friend. I lack nothing.

I yearn for Him in a way that I am left both wanting more and yet fulfilled at the same time. I feel so full of Him inside of me that I believe it must be spilling out, an excess of Light, making me shine. His love is like champagne, bubbling beneath the surface of my skin, dancing joy inside my veins. When I look at His face, I see myself reflected in His eyes, so lovely and loved I have trouble recognizing myself. The spirit within me is floating, rising, growing, stretching for Heaven and I want to let it fly like a bird on the wind. Everywhere I look I see Him, all Him, only Him. There is no one else.
"Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire besides thee." Psalm 73:25.
This is my life story and it is ecstasy.

So I may be single, but definitely not alone or unloved.