A Seed

Sometimes being a seed is painful.

John 12:24 "I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds."

Here is the hard part of being a Jesus follower. Are we willing to die?

Are we willing to die daily to self? Are we willing to let go of all that is "me" focused? Our dreams, our hopes, who we think we are, everything that we think makes us, us. Are we willing to let it go, and allow God to mold and shape our identity according to His vision?

The thing with dying daily is that it is daily. It isn't a one-time thing. And it isn't an accidental thing. We don't wake up one morning and say, "Oops, my self died yesterday. How did that happen?"

Nope, it is an active choice. A daily, persistent, consistent act of will that we choose sometimes even hourly or by the minute.

And let me tell you. It isn't easy and it hurts. It feels like having your heart ripped out at it's roots when you lay down your dreams, your plans and your self. It feels like if you let go, you won't be able to breathe anymore, because these things are so much a part of you that you don't know how to function without them. You know what else? It's scary! Because who am I if the things that are so much a part of me that they have formed my identity are not there anymore? It's a daily denial, a steady journey step by step of taking up your cross and following, sometimes trudging along, sometimes stumbling and falling down.

But here is the thing about Jesus. He is a God of re's. Renewal, restoration, resurrection. AND most importantly He is madly in love with us. He doesn't ask us to die for no reason. And He doesn't ask us to die to self without having an absolutely incredible reward planned for our obedience.

A seed is no good if it isn't planted. It produces nothing if it just hangs out above the surface, in fact it is in more danger there, because any bird or animal could come along and eat it. In order to fulfill it's innate purpose it MUST be planted and die and rebirthed. A seed is meant to be planted.

And so are we like a seed. When we allow ourselves to be planted and learn to die to self, then God is able to use us to produce multiple times more than we could on our own. One apple seed becomes a tree full of apples. Not only that but God can use us to bless others. I've been learning more and more that God doesn't just want to bless us, but also everyone around us. He doesn't bless me with something just for my own sake, but so that I can also share that blessing and God's love with others.

The best part is that many times when we have been obedient and chosen to die to self, to our dreams and desires, then God restores those to us in ways we could not have imagined and our dreams become greater than what we could have accomplished alone. Or God gives us a new dream that is better than our own.
Jer 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."

So are we willing to let go? Are we willing to die? Or the real question is, do we trust God enough, are we secure enough in His love to give it all up, knowing that He has something greater planned for us? Do we want to hang on to the identity we have given ourselves or do we want to become who God has said we are? Do we want to hang on to our own small dreams and desires or do we want "more than we can ask or think?" It is up to us. But first we have to die.