Letter to God #8

Remember. Remember. Remember. Remember when I led you out of bondage. Remember My covenant with you. Remember how I have loved you. Remember how I have rescued you.

Over and over again I find this reminder from You in Your Word. It is a theme woven throughout Your story with mankind. I never used to understand why You asked your people consistently to remember. How could anyone forget You. How could anyone forget what You have done on our behalf. But as I grow older I start to understand. Even the best memories can be hard to hold on to, even when I purpose within myself to never forget "this" moment.

Remembering becomes a challenge when hurt, loneliness, anger and frustration settles in. When prayers seem to go unanswered. When life takes a different path then what I imagined. Suddenly, I am complaining and questioning. Doubt starts to make ground in the battle for my heart. I find myself whining and asking "why"? Why have You not answered? Why does life seem out of control? Why am I not getting my way? Where are You? Why do You not act in the way that I expect You to, and why do You not follow my childish whims and plans for my life? You are not subject to my will and so I question if You are even real. Because I know best and You are refusing to confine Yourself to my image. It is so easy to forget Your love and goodness when I become focused on my own superiority, my own knowledge, my own self.

And You ask me not to forget. You plead with me to remember You.  When I stop to think about what that request coming from You means, my heart aches. Because I know a bit of the pain of being forgotten, of having my love ignored or unrecognized. I know a fraction of the devastation of feeling unseen. But to imagine what You must feel, You who are Love, You who are the Creator of the Universe, You who chose me/us, You who gave Him You loved most to gain us You loved most, You who passionately pursues Your own creation, who loves those who may not even love You back. I am undone. You call, You woo, You pursue, You humble Yourself for a covenant of Love with me. No matter how faithless I am You remain true to me. And You ask me to remember You, to remember Your tokens and acts of love for me. My heart breaks thinking of how I have broken Yours time and again by failing to remember how much I am loved. And how very wonderful You are.

So I will choose to remember. I choose to remember the prayers You have answered, the tears I have cried that You lovingly collected. I remember the poor choices I have made that you rescued me from. I remember the times I have asked for something unneeded and You gave it to me anyway. I remember the unmerited blessings You have showered upon me and the times when Your plan for me has indeed been better for me than my own. I will remember the times when You exceeded my dreams and desires and the times when You have taken the time to be with me, talk with me and just love me. I will not forget how You saw me in the darkness and offered Your hand. I will not forget that You have never forsaken me even when I turned my face from Yours. I will remember that it is You who teaches me to love and that it is You who are my Life. I will not forget that it is Your Presence which calms my fears and the pounding of my heart.

I will remember

It is You. It has always been You.